Project Big Head
by Historia70
Summary: Dib will do anything to get any evidence against Zim or the paranormal. This will be random snippets.
1. Base hijinks age 18

Midnight. On a rather nice evening out where it was none to warm and none to cold, sat deep in the bushes in a neighboring yard next to a really strange looking green house, was, Dib dressed in head to toe black. The only part of him that showed was his mouth, nose, huge glasses and not so pale skin. His skin itched with excitement as he planned inside his head on what he will do inside that house to expose, Zim. He noticed he walked out of the house whistling after looking this way and that. He guessed that, Zim thought he was being swift in not being watched, but was stupid enough to announce.

"WELL! What a nice night for ZIM! To take a walk in." Announcing in his typical third person way, before stretching, and wandering off with his hands behind his back while whistling down the street.

Dib arched his eyebrow up still wondering how the general population was this insanely stupid not to notice that he wasn't a human.

Waiting for a sufficient amount of time that he was gone, he quickly ran around the backside of the yard he was in, and go through the backyard. He had no idea why he always insisted on going through the front. Ignoring that obvious answer that his own sister would provide, he ran through the back and jumped to the backyard. Landing on the grass there, he quickly noted no defenses were there. Huh? That was crazy.

"Oh well I don't have enough time to ponder that right now since I have serious alien kicking to do." Dib posed heroically as a wind kicked through, but couldn't run through his hair or trench. Thinking how silly he looked like that, he took out his climbing gear, and lifted the rope up, spinning it around in a quick circle before releasing it with the grappling hook attaching to the top part of the roof.

Huh? No defenses there either. How idiotic. Okay this is way too easy now.

Hooking himself up he started climbing up to the top, but noticed that one of the windows was open. Gir had to of left it open. He always remembered, Zim screaming at him to close the window and doors. Nevertheless, he activated his cloaking on his suit and climbed into the window. He had to remember to be quiet this time since last time his voice didn't help him none.

Looking at all the various wires and cables, he silently connected himself to them and walked upside down. Gir was on the couch watching The Scary Monkey Show and devouring massive amounts of tacos and burritos. Where did he put all that? Oh well, he couldn't ponder that as he silently moved around, well he thought it was silent until, Gir stopped what he was doing to question something around him. Looked around dumbfounded, shrugged, before resuming to look at the t.v again.

"Whew." Dib whispered then slammed his hand to his mouth at his own ignorance when Gir launched up off the couch, eyes turning red and a weapon came out of him.

"WHO GOES THERE?" Gir asked in an authoritative manner. When no reply came forth for several seconds, his eyes turned cyan, before he hopped into the kitchen.

_I've got to stop doing that_, Dib thought to himself. Looking around, he remembered there was several ways of getting down into his base, so quickly making sure, Gir was sufficiently busy in the kitchen, he ran over to a stand, touched something, and it lifted up allowing him inside before bringing him down. Breathing a sigh of relief, he relaxed until he was at his destination. Or at least what he thought to be his destination as he calmly waited for the doors to open up in the elevator hoping to see his lab, but what he found was a pool full of large squid.

Eyes wide that he was about to step out into that, he was about to press the button, when the elevator tilted seemingly to offer him up as an snack. Screaming, and hands out wide to the side of the doors to prevent him from going into the pool, he thought on how to get back up until a tendril wrapped around his leg and started pulling him out of the elevator and waving him around making him scream like a high pitched little girl. Wildly thinking on how to get out of this mess, while hopefully not messing his shorts, he was surprised when the tendril released him making him fly hard into a wall of another open elevator that instantly snapped shut.

Breathing heavily, as he laid face down on the ground, he quickly placed his hands randomly around him to make sure he was really in one piece. Happy that he seemed fine, he turned over on his back and touched the only button that was in the elevator, hoping that the next area let him have access to, Zim's lab. Getting on his feet, he waited for the doors to open, when they did he was greeted by blackness and complete silence. Pulling out his flashlight from his pack, he tried to turn it on, and cursed when it wouldn't do it. Beating on it, as if that always helps, he just gave up after a long sigh, and inched forward to peer out. Still not hearing or seeing anything, he kept trying to tell himself there was nothing to fear, especially when eye after lighted eye suddenly showed up in front of him, followed by thousands of growls. Not loving that sound, Dib stepped back into the elevator quickly to press the button, but was nabbed by 10 paws grabbing him and dragging him out. What quickly followed was your typical problem with hungry alien cats from another planet. They enjoyed playing, licking, playing some more, licking to see if human did taste right, then playing some more, because really the cats found whatever this human boy ate wasn't what they wanted to eat, so they batted him into a totally different shaft, transporting him into another part of the base.

Dib smelled of saliva from those cats and sea animal right now. He was breathing hard. He was already tired. He already wanted to give up, but no the fate of the world was in his hands. So tiredly standing up, Dib tried to pose, but ended up slumping against the wall. He knew, Zim ran experiments, but he actually guessed mostly on humans. That is what he saw that day when he was eating waffles. The shaft's door was sliding slowly open. There was some paranoia regarding what may be on the other side, but he had to hope for the best, which obviously was mostly paranoia written on his face since he had his eyes open, as a red light bathed him. Opening his right eye up slowly, he noticed where he was, and quickly opened up his left eye. A smile dawned on his face slowly as he recognized this area to be where, Zim took Gaz and himself years ago to see what was on Tak's disc. Walking in slowly, he went to explore around him, all the while saying, "Ohhhhhhhh." Realizing, there doesn't seem to be any traps, he went to fish out his camera to film all this.

Turning the camera on to set to record, he cleared his throat, the second he was about to hit the button, an arm came down from the ceiling with alarms blaring.

"INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT! MUST REMOVE INTRUDER NOW!" Droned on the computer in an authoritative voice.

"Hey! Put me down! Ow!" Dib yelled, then screamed as he was quickly placed into this tube with this arm still holding on to him. This was not a ride he wanted to be on ever as he felt 18 years of food threatening to come up on him at once. Then he felt something akin to his clothes practically being ripped off him, but being replaced by something soft. He couldn't see what it could be, just feel since he was in a tube right now with limited sight, but he did see a bright light come his way as he was quickly deposited back into, Zim's living room.

Groaning, he heard a very loud, "BIG HEADED SMELLY HEAD! Why does master say you stink?"

Dib looked up at, Gir's impossible innocent eyes. Well he knew he stunk right now, but big head? "I don't have a big head." Moaning, he slowly stood up trying to focus the stars out of his eye sight. "I feel horrible."

"Awwwwww but you look so purdy!" Gir commented with his tongue sticking out.

"What?" As he noticed he was wearing a pink and blue flowery dress.

Giggling, Gir quickly grabbed him by the waist and hand and started to dance around with him, just twirling and twirling around, while yelling out. "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" While, Dib kept begging for him to stop, while begging for himself not to throw up.

Meanwhile, Dib had an extra audience enjoying the excitement that he provided that evening. On opposite sides of the couch, sat both, Gaz and Zim laughing at the torture that he was placed through. Gaz, had to unfortunately stop him from sending him to other rooms that would end up making her brother's demise swift, but he was fine with what he saw this evening. Seeing, Gir dancing with the Dib-Stink like that, would insure him to be possibly left alone for a while by both of them.

"Will you make sure the computer has taken a shot of my brother in that get up?" Gaz inquired, wiping some tears away from her face from all the laughter.

"Ahhh, but that has already been done since I ordered it." Zim assured her.

"Great, I want a copy of it then." Picking up a game controller, she looked over at him, "Since, Gir is keeping him busy, you wanna play?"

With a nod of his head, he caught the offered controller, left the surveillance video up on a pop up screen to monitor, Dib, so they can play Vampire Piggies 10. All the while on the tiny screen you can still see, Gir still twirling him around with Dib screaming his head off.


	2. And it begins age 14

**I will be doing random snippets of various pranks on Dib. He will be different ages. **

**This one he will be much younger, as his age is established below. It is perhaps a little darker the the first story where he was 18 years old. This is to show the beginning of the pranks happening with Zim approaching Gaz. Right now she is just an observer while Zim is the main culprit. **

* * *

Flashback to when Dib was 14.

"Hey Gaz! Going to the cemetery to prove that Dracula is living there." Dib called out excitedly as he stood next to the front door.

"Go away!" Gaz yelled back. She was upstairs, but it didn't sound like she was in her bedroom anymore.

"Well tell dad if he asks."

"Ugh... Who are you kidding? He's hardly home."

Shrugging at the obvious and saddening fact of what she just said, he started to make a list of what he had in his pack before leaving. "Oranges, bat, camera, rope, string, condom... Condom? How come a condom is in here?" Seeing Gaz stomp downstairs, he asked her, "Why is there a condom in my backpack?"

Giving him a queer look she just shook her head as she headed to the kitchen. "If you have to ask your sister that question then you must think very little of me already." Stopping she turned to face him. "Oh yeah it was for my big gang bang I had planned for next weekend."

"Gaz... Don't joke about those things. Please."

"After the string of crap you said to me in front of the entire school, what the hell did you want from me?" Handing him one final glare she turned to go into the kitchen.

Opening his mouth to try to say something he just shrugged his shoulders and headed to the cemetery instead. She was so angry all the time. He honestly didn't know what to say anymore to her. He knew he said something completely incorrect to her, but he honestly didn't know what to say in order to apologize to her.

15 minutes later while she was about to head upstairs again, the doorbell started to ring like crazy. Growling at the stupidity of people for bothering them at this hour, she decided to see who it was and possibly it would do her well to strangle someone before falling asleep tonight. Opening the door, she found Zim standing there with a friendly smile on his face. Right now she was torn between strangulation or just being nice.

In a bored voice, she asked. "Yes, Zim?"

Clearing his throat while holding one hand in front of his mouth, he replied in a businesslike manner. "Good evening, Gazlene. How are you this evening?"

Opening up one eye fully to give him a look like he just left the looney bin and was asking if she would like to be painted plaid or not, she said instead. "Zim... Why are you here?"

Leaning close to her, he whispered sinisterly in her ear, "Wanna have some fun with your brother?"

"I hope this isn't the kind of fun that involved the condom he found in his backpack." She mentioned hesitantly.

Straightening back up, he now gave her an odd look. "What? No? Wait! What is a kun-dum?"

Closing her opened eye she shook her head. "Never mind. What kind of fun?"

Stepping past her he walked quickly to the living room and turned on the t.v. Taking out a little device it showed the cemetery. "Your brother is not very secretive at what he plans to do at night with his plans."

"He wants to prove Dracula exists."

"Oh he will, but not in the way he is expecting." Winking at her, he indicated she sit down. Hearing her mutter something about it better be good, he whispered to her. "Oh it will, Gaz. It will."

* * *

Arriving at his destination, Dib immediately placed a wooden stake into his belt. Making sure it was secure and he was comfortable he took out his camera to turn it on. Focusing the camera slowly around he needed to get a shot of Dracula or possibly a ghost or maybe a zombie. As he wandered around, he felt his nerves on edge. But that was possibly adrenaline. Thinking he heard a sound, he wandered over near a mausoleum. Focusing around the mausoleum, there was nothing around it but dead weeds, so he tried the door which was locked. Shrugging, he went back to the grounds.

"Ohhhhhh"

Stopping in his tracks he felt his hair stand up on end. "Sounds like it could be a ghost." In his excitement he almost ran towards the source, but stopped himself to slowly walk to it instead.

"Ohhhhhh" It came again.

Knowing he was closer, he stopped and focused around him. Panning the camera around he kept hearing it over and over again. It was right near him, but nobody was seen. That means it was a ghost. It had to be. So there he stood. "Gaz will be sorry she is missing this. She needs to learn to LIVE!" Screaming he fell on the ground to stare in shock at a hand from the ground grabbing his leg hard. "Ahhhh let go... LET GO!" He screamed almost like a little girl as he kicked it with his other foot to disengage the hand.

"OH GOD THIS IS SO EXCITING BUT OH SO SCARY!" He called out and finally the hand let go letting him scamper away, but landing on top of another grave he was grabbed by a arm around his waist that was oozing maggots. In between wanting to hurl and wishing he had his camera on him right now but he dropped it next to the other grave. "LET GO! LET GO!" Hitting the arm, it shrunk back into ground.

Standing on his feet he quickly grabbed his camera and aimed it to the ground.

"Ohhhhhhh"

Hearing the voice next to him, he turned right to see a see through floating head next to him with maggots dropping from it to the ground near his foot. Jumping back, but still aiming the camera, he was chattering nonsense.

"I'm looking for a body to replace miiinnnnnneeeeesssssssss..." It moaned out coming at him quickly.

"I'm attached to mines still. Sorry." Dib said as he finally got his nerves back. "Oh man... Who are you? What happened to you?" He started rattling off question after question.

Face turning from pain to anger it came at him quickly. "I hate people who mock me." Knocking him down on the ground again he was rained down upon thousands of gross bugs.

Trying to scramble away, he heard yet another sound to his left to see his bat lift into the air by itself. "No, I'm not mocking you, I swear it."

Being lifted up into the air by something else, he was turned around to find a dead hardly rotting woman holding him up. "The vampire did this to me." Opening up her mouth she revealed her fangs.

Forgetting himself, he wanted to focus on her with his camera. "Oh my gosh! He exists."

Looking at the camera, she hissed. "Vampires can not be seen with cameras." She mentioned.

Cursing his stupid self, he knew it, but yet he still wanted it along with him as proof. Trying to struggle out of her grip the floating head came to him. "Let go of him I saw him first."

"Get lost buddy, he's mine."

Finally getting out of her grip he started to run for dear life out of the cemetary but try as he might he was cut off by another wandering corpse or was held down by hands from the ground. He was going so crazy trying to avoid them that when he saw his bat again along with that mystery condom being wrapped around it and preparing to come at him, he screamed and ran some more.

If he did bother to look long enough, the real Dracula did appear from inside the mausoleum complaining about the racket outside before closing it back up to attend to the victims he gathered today.

* * *

Watching her brother run around, Gaz was just laughing. "Did you know this was going to happen?"

Laughing evilly, Zim was clutching his side. "Not this much. Minimoose is doing a great job."

"Minimoose?"

"Minimoose is the floating head. The rest are hologram images that are pretty lifelike. I had to program them to do this holding. The hands from the ground are robotic."

Watching as the condom bat was following him around, she looked at the laughing alien. "Placing that condom on the bat was a nice touch."

"What is that thing? It seemed to strike fear in him more then the rest." Zim wondered as he started laughing even harder at him almost colliding with a tree.

"It is to help protect you from a sexually transmitted disease or pregnancy."

Laughing renewed at the thought of it having to protect him, but it seemed to show the opposite of it right now, he almost landed on the ground. "Glad I got it then."

"But you didn't know what a condom was."

"I didn't. I just saw it with Ms Bitters and assumed it was death and destruction because she had it, so I took it." He answered innocently.

Zim running around finally stopped when he did see Dracula. "Oh hey, Dracula." He spoke matter-of-factly before screaming for safety as a horde of corpses came after him.

Snickering, she had to admit he was right, it was death and destruction in its own way, but seriously she didn't want to think of Ms Bitters in that way. Shivering with disgust, she then started laughing again when the condom bat, vampire girl, and him went into a forced dance.

Examining her, he smiled at the demoness laughing. "Want to make this a habit?"

Wiping tears from her eyes, she nodded. "I assume you mean what is happening with Dib. Sure, yes, but don't kill my brother in the process."

"Why not?"

"Because even though he did say something so messed up to me earlier, I do know that he cares about me. He is really the only family I have." Gaz said maturely.

Nodding his head, he agreed to it. "I like you Gaz-human."

"Just call me Gaz."

"Gaz." Laughing at Dib's dance. He ventured something else with her. "Friends? Us."

"We can be friends on a trial basis." She agreed begrudgingly.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I'm gonna barf... Oh no." Throwing up in the bushes, the corpses rose their hands up in the air in surrender and stood there waiting until he was done. Once done they put their hands down and chased him out of the cemetery.


	3. Panic

**Dib is age 15 here. :)**

* * *

The bright morning sun that blinded many of the young and old alike as they exited their homes. The birds that sung as if they were in a cartoon movie serenading a forest princess. The smiles and laughter that was associated as well with such a beautiful morning, in spite of the fact it was a weekday with full responsibilities for so many out there. Dib was always one to have a head full of responsibilities in his head as he slept, when he woke, as he walked to school, and as he sat in class watching Zim on the other side of the room just simply balancing a pencil on his claw and staring off into the distance.

Ms Bitters spoke of doom, as usual. Gritted her teeth at the usual stupid question, in her opinion, shut him up when he raised another fantastic point of Zim being an alien.

Jotting down his own personal notes, that had nothing to do with class, he noticed how the sun was fading more and more, and being replaced by increased darkness. Casually glancing out the window he noticed the storm clouds and even though they predicted glorious sunny weather for the week, Dib's smile increased more and more as he spotted a brightening in the clouds. That was lightening. His smile became bigger.

From the corner of his eye, Zim wasn't taking any notice of the sudden weather change outside, he was still staring off into the nothingness. He couldn't wait to see him panic then try to worm himself away from that panic by pretending how he loved rain.

Looking back out the window, Dib could of sworn he was drooling in anticipation. Oh come on rain. Come down hard. He had to fight the urge to laugh.

"Ms Bitters? My mom said that I came from a stork. Is that true?"

Dib had no clue who could of asked that question, he didn't care to place the name to that voice right now, but his smile wiped off quickly at how stupid it was. Ms Bitters was gritting her teeth in annoyance. She raised her eyebrow up at the absurdity of that question in itself. He even chanced to glance at Zim, who held the most dumbfounded expression of all before he smacked his own forehead, and resumed staring. Guess he had to give him credit in knowing that part of human life.

Ms Bitters glided past him up the aisle. "No! You are 15 and you believe in that... Idiotic notion?" Gliding past him to her desk, she prepared to press the button. "Out of my class." Button pressed, all the students gasped except Zim and himself who both just shrugged at the normalcy of that now.

"Now students I want you to read chapters 12 through 30 and do not talk to me. I've had enough of your nonsense." She ordered.

In the distance he heard the faint sound of thunder. Once again his smile started to twitch up since it was forgotten for a bit. He wasn't aware that he was starting to grip his desk until he heard more thunder. Lightening was lighting up the sky in the distance. Dib thought it was the most beautiful thing ever. Then little speckles of rain started to spit against the window. And still Zim was in another world. For a moment he wondered what he was thinking about until he heard a harder speckle of rain right next to him along with a couple of strong thunder and lightening strikes. Some of the girls gasped. He didn't care.

Zim finally took notice as one eye went wide and focused beyond him out the window.

Dib kept smiling more now, and the whole sky opened up next to him. Darkness enfolded around them. The whole school. All you can hear was the rain beating down on the windows, the roof, and the whole school ground. Both Zim's eyes widened in terror. The kids around them started murmuring all sorts of stuff, but it was Zim, Dib was paying attention to. Even when lightening lit up the entire class, and Zim finally looked upon his evil grin as he stared at him.

Zim had no brave words, he gripped the side of his desk with his claws and looked down. Dib saw his rapid breathing. He was privately suffering over there. The idiots still believed him to be human when it was obvious he was an alien. Dib wanted to laugh evilly. He wanted to stand on top of his desk and just laugh at him. Defeating his enemy by Mother Nature alone. How amazing was that?

Jotting something on his notepad, Dib bunched it up and tossed it to Zim where it conveniently landed right on his desk. Slowly reaching to the piece of paper, he opened it up, read it, tore it up, and hissed right at him. The glare Zim was sending him was short lived when another piece of lightening appeared with the wind picking up and making the rain slamming the window even more harder then before. He was in a state of having a nervous breakdown.

This was turning out to be a perfect day. Grinning ear to ear. He laughed when he heard the loud speaker turn on.

_Faculty and Students!_

At this time we have to make this an early school day.

For any student that doesn't have anyone at home at the present time, please come to the office so we may call your parent or guardian to pick you up.

Due the severity of the weather it is advisable for you all to go home.

Thank you and be safe.

This is your Principal Lean Nervers

Oh this day will be getting any better. Quickly standing up from his seat, he watched as all the others ran past him, walking up to Zim he leaned over to him. "I hope you enjoy walking home in the rain, Space boy." Laughing, he strolled into the hall and told Gaz he will be out front waiting.

Zim, alone now in the classroom and frozen to his spot as he listened to the torturous sound of the blasted evil rain. He honestly had a hard time thinking clearly. The Dib-stink is going to win. He refused for him to win. He could call up Gir to bring the Voot Cruiser, but he gave him permission to join some girls on a camping trip to just get him out of his way. He can wait it out.

Feeling something go around his body, he jumped up to find Gaz in front of him wearing her purple jacket and an umbrella. She glanced out the window before looking back at him before handing him a black umbrella.

"Bend down a little." She instructed. He must of had a questioning look on his face because she repeated herself. "Bend down a little."

Doing as she wanted, she stepped towards him to reach behind him and moved a hood to cover his head. Stepping back, she examined him. "It isn't much, but it should get you home without too much fizzle. Use the umbrella. The slicker and that is yours. I bought it a while ago just in case." Turning around she started to walk easily away from him.

"Why though?" Zim asked as he felt the fabric against him.

Not turning to look at him, she sighed. "Well if we are friends, then that is what friends do, I heard. Also this isn't a way to fight fair in my opinion. I know you pranked him, but you still are giving him a strong fighting chance. He wasn't giving you one today, so I'm giving you one." Sparing him a quick glance, she added. "You will not use me again as an umbrella ever again."

Walking out the hall to watch her leave, he smiled. "But it felt nice." He said softly before he strolled down the hall in fuller confidence then before.

Outside, Dib waited for Zim to emerge. He wanted to see the panic. He wanted to see him try to make a run for it. He wanted to see him... What?!

Zim exiting with his full slicker and umbrella, he smiled at Dib and nodded. Walking towards that first step, he commented. "It really does feel refreshing in spite of all this wetness." Extending the umbrella out, he stepped under it and strutted off just whistling some unknown tune.

At the door, Dib stood slack jaw as he watched Zim walk off unharmed still uttering, "What?"

Gaz standing to the side, smiled softly as she extended her own umbrella out. Stepping forward, she wiped off her smile to look at her brother in a deadpanned expression. "You coming or are you gonna keep looking at Zim's rear?" Still getting no reaction, she shrugged and made her way out into the pouring rain.

When she was far enough away from the school, she was met up by Zim who stopped long enough for some cover to wait for her. Knowing how she wasn't too fond of terms of endearment and they were still feeling out their friendship, the way they both looked at one another was enough to know how grateful he was for her help today.


	4. Sanitarium Time

Over the summer break, Dib and Gaz were told that they would be spending time with their own dad in Kentucky. Gaz didn't care about the state simply because she never had an interest in visiting, but she did want to spend time with their absentee father. But when it was later told to them that it was a business trip and he might be spending lots of time in the lab there, naturally Gaz felt let down while Dib just stared at him as if he just developed 15 heads on his shoulder. Dib was the one who protested that immediately, while Gaz pulled out her Game Slave and started killing things in the game. Gaz felt the need to actually punch things and possibly kill something in the process but felt it was safer to do that in a game rather then with real people because she felt in her disappointment she may actually kill someone for real.

Dib checked his watch and noticed that Mysterious Mysteries wasn't on so he immediately put his thinking cap on. Eyeing his sister, he understood the anger right now, but at least he was willing to try something more constructive then a game. "Gaz? Is there anything else you like to do to get your mind off things? You know, besides playing games."

Gritting her teeth with his interruption she just kept playing while she answered. "In my state of mind, this is far safer then killing a real life person."

"So, uh, you never do anything else?" He ventured on.

"I do like to read. You have seen me read." She reminded him. "I also like to write." She added.

He saw her reading, but never write. "So what do you write about?"

"Just short stories mostly or just random things. I even have a little blog."

She wrote and she blogged. He honestly didn't know that. "What is the website?"

" ." Gaz quipped.

"My head isn't big!" He really wished people would stop saying that. This was all started because of Zim. "I'm interested, Gaz. What is the website?"

Pausing her game, she replied. "I have written a few things about you. Nothing bad honestly, but they are written. You really interested?"

"Yes."

Rolling her eyes and pursing her lips she nodded her head. "I'll give it to you later."

As quickly as he smiled it disappeared as he returned to thinking about what to do. Pacing back and forth he had to think what was in Kentucky that he can explore. He wanted to think about this to see if his brain is as smart as he says it is. He didn't wish to get on a computer to explore that way. As useful as computers were he felt it helped in lowering intelligence in some way if you continue to rely on only that. Stopping his pacing he made a cry out and ran to the connecting bedroom exclaiming what a great idea that was.

Gaz for the most part actually placed her game aside. She knew he'd come out announcing very loudly his latest plan to explore some place. Bringing her phone up, she quickly texted the one being who might understand her pain.

_Dib is thinking again. 'Thinking loudly. He's never quiet.'_

'_He's never quiet in class. He thinks he's whispering but saying stuff loud thinking Zim is deaf just because he can't see my ears.'_ Came his instant reply.

She understood that. Hearing him coming back out, she typed. '_Gotta go. Talk later.'_

"Gaz! Gaz!"

"I'm right here, Dib there's not need to yell." She grated as she placed her phone away.

"You want to know what's here? It is one of the most haunted places here. It is that abandoned sanatorium." Knocking his pack against the threshold of the door in his excitement, he only made a brief face of annoyance before composing himself and running to the door. "You heard of it. You once told me that it would be a cool place just to explore." Dib said hopefully. He really wanted to drag her along.

Thinking about it, she did recollect how she wanted to explore that place, but recalled she was 10 at the time when she thought about it. Now, she just shrugged. "I don't know..."

"Oh come on, Gaz it'll be fun. It is such a huge place." Watching her go, 'Eh' he added, "And since it is a huge place you might be able to lose me in there."

Perking up at that part, she quickly leapt up from the couch, walked casually to the door, opened it and left. Behind her she heard her brother saying, 'Yes' excitedly as he ran up to join her.

At their arrival there, Dib knew they had to hike it up the rest of the way up to the sanatorium. Gaz didn't grumble about it, which surprised him, but really as she was getting older she was not so uppity as she used to be. Well, really bitchy, but he had to think of kind words for her. He loved her, but there were times she did wear on him like he wore on her. As they neared the place, she pulled out her phone to take a picture of the place, smiling down at the image she seemed pleased by it.

"Good shot?" Dib inquired, as he spared her a glance and he received a positive nod and a smile before she pocketed her phone again. "Would you like to borrow any of my equipment tonight?"

Hands in her coat she thought about it as she ran a script inside her head. "I dunno. I know you sometimes don't bring a lot of equipment when you know you gotta do a lot of walking." Feeling her phone vibrate she ignored it as they walked to the front door which was surprisingly not chained. "Hey! Isn't this place often guarded by someone?"

Placing his pack down, he handed her a spare flashlight. That he knew she would need regardless. Rifling through his pack for things he gazed around before returning his attention back to his task. "I'm surprised they don't have the doors chained. So I guess we have to be on our guard."

"I have my mace." She mentioned casually.

"Oh this is good." Hands her a camera. "For just in case."

"Cool."

Going back into his pack, he started to place some items on him and the rest he would carry. "Ok Gaz let us... Gaz where are you?" No reply from her. "Man, she's fast when she wants to be." Standing up he decided to not only look for what he wanted, he also can look for Gaz at the same time.

Gaz was wandering upstairs via the staircase. Happy she got away from him, she hoped for something creepy to happen. Landing on the top floor she strolled out into the hallway, scanned around her, and headed to her right. Honestly, this place always fascinated her. She researched it at times. She just felt gravitated towards it as if a part of her always remained her. Stopping in her footsteps she face palmed herself. When did she turn into her brother? Uncovering her face she walked forward slowly. She knew where she was heading. She knew her... Feeling a hand snake around her waist she was pulled into a room closest to the hallway. Heart shaking and ready to strike at whoever dared touch her she was quickly turned around to face... Zim. Who was smiling pretty proudly in spite of the stupid mistake he just did.

"Well hello, Gaz, when you didn't... OOF!" Knocked onto the ground amongst some peeled paint and haphazardly close to some water, he still decided to finish his sentence in spite the sudden pain. "Answer your phone I thought it would be fun to join you here."

"To prank my brother here? There is nothing to prank here, Zim." She said as she helped him up. "This place is actually haunted. Even I can feel it."

Wanting to laugh at her but deciding to keep his face, Zim asked. "You can feel it? I didn't know you can feel these things."

"Where we live, I don't feel it except for stupid. Here this place is alive in energy." She replied stepping back out into the hallway with him.

Laughing, Zim couldn't believe his ears. They had to be deceiving him. Gaz believing in ghosts? Impossible. Just when he stepped into the hallway he saw a half see through child like thing running across their pathway with its legs missing. Halting, he pointed. "Did Zim just see that? Or is that a trick?"

"Wanna make out?"

Stopping his dumbfounded look he gave her a full seductive smile. "I would love that."

Stepping forward, she smiled. "See that was a trick. What you saw... Wasn't. I told you this place is for real."

Pouting and not really shocked at seeing something pretty small with only its legs shown run past him, he spoke softly. "Not wise to trick with Zim's feelings."

Turning to face him, she pointed out to him. "We have been playing with Dib's feelings with these pranks so what is the difference?"

"The offer of you wanting Zim. That is the difference."

"Get real, Zim, that isn't going to happen." Facing the direction she was going she wanted to hide her frown from him.

"Why? Why isn't it going to happen? You'd be lucky to have Zim."

"I'd be lucky if my brother would stop thinking that you probe me or have put a mind control device on me each time he catches us speaking." She pointed out softly.

Finding more odd things roaming around in the adjoining room, he looked down at the floor as he said the next thing. "We don't have ghosts on Irk."

"Really? How do you know? Did anyone ever bother to look for them or just go about doing their Invader duties?"

"Probably, but here you humans are fascinated by them." He said with a shrug.

"What can I say, Zim? It is either this or bowling." She surmised wistfully.

Catching up to her, he almost yelled out. "You don't bowl and you never expressed interest in the paranormal."

Turning quickly around she grabbed him and launched him against the nearest wall pinning him with the wall directly behind him and Gaz in front of him. Hearing a mocking bit of laughter that, Gaz chose to ignore, she whispered. "That is because I'm not my brother, Zim. This place has a pretty sad history and it is best not to make fun of the spirits here since it sucks for them to have to stick around even longer in this damn life."

He heard her and understood what she was saying, but couldn't help being in such close proximity of her to say, "Is this your way of really saying you want to make out with, Zim?"

Growling, she turned away and wandered once again down the hall. Zim straightened his shirt out as he started walking but stopped as soon as he saw a distressing thing down the way, which appeared to be a woman hanging by her neck and dressed in white. Gaz stopped her pace as she regarded the scene in front of her and pressed her lips together in deep thought. This was sad to see and she hoped this part was untrue and just a story, but it wasn't. Zim walked to her side and sighed before he proceeded forward to stand right next to her. Gaz wanted to stop him. She wanted to yell at him to not say anything at all. She didn't want this situation worse for her. But Zim started speaking softly to her expressing his sadness to her and wishing her to find peace that she deserved. Really, in Gaz's opinion most of the spirits here deserved it, but she was shocked to see her disappear in which she hoped it was forever.

"Zim. I..." She began before her phone chimed. Picking it up it was Dib. "Yes?"

"Gaz, there is nothing so far down here and even I've been in that tunnel thing which is not fun. What about you?" Dib inquired in a seemingly stressed tone.

"There are spirits up here and I just saw the nurse."

"Oh man! You saw the nurse? That.. That's amazing. Is she still there?" He asked excitedly.

Zim re-joined her side as she gave him the look of disgust that maybe possibly her own brother would of disturbed that nurse if he did see her. "No she's not thankfully."

"What do you mean, thankfully?" He asked suspiciously.

"Well Dib as much of a bitch people may think I am, I won't prolong the suffering of others, like her, by putting her on display in the name of the paranormal." She said defensively.

"It is my job, Gaz, to seek the truth and to destroy Zim in the process."

He was going on, but Gaz covered over the mouth piece to say to Zim, "I'm gonna bring him up here, it'll give you time to do what you need to do down there. I will eventually go back down there and then call him down there to say I'm seeing activity."

Smiling his large zipper grin he nodded at the prospect of screwing around with Dib's head. "Perhaps for once the spirits will be amused at someone else's suffering for once since so many have been trying to amuse themselves here."

"You catch on quick." She said with a smile before saying in the phone. "You coming up here or not?"

"Oh yeah yeah I'm coming! Be right there." Dib promised before hanging up.

"You better hide."

After a half hour of Dib going crazy exploring every inch of the upper sections, Gaz excused herself to go back downstairs in which Dib just waved her off thinking she just didn't care anymore. As Gaz reached the first floor she noticed the activity was in full swing to the point she was curious about one place in particular, the tunnel. Although taking a gander into that section, she wasn't prone to feeling sickened, but it was sad and also sickening at the same time so she instantly left the area as she went into the lobby where Zim stood giving her an indescribable look. Seeing as the activity was crazy down here now, she raised him on the phone telling him to get downstairs because all she sees is ghosts.

"He won't see the cameras I put down here to catch what is going to happen." Zim said as he walked out into the night. Gaz knew that these were actual spirits so she had no clue what will happen to require those cameras so she decided to follow Zim outside as well. She had enough of the sadness inside there for one night. Seeing him down a way, she walked to his side as he already had a mini screen out.

Dib fell to his knees as soon as he saw the hallway full of ghosts. Never in his life has he seen so much activity. His meters were going crazy. He started to ask them questions, but there was no reply. Well maybe the reply could be heard later when he played back the recording. Almost dancing in delight as he snapped pictures and asked more questions, he found himself in the tunnel in which was silent again in spite of the activity that Gaz walked into moments earlier. Not to be daunted, he continued down further, his eyes becoming wider as he looked at his dim readings. After 5 minutes of asking questions and still no readings, he decided to turn around and go back up to the busy hallway. As he made his way up he heard a lowly moan followed by the most saddest cry. Turning around he saw nothing even as he shined his flashlight.

"Hello?" He asked tentatively. "Is anyone there?" He waited for a while and still no response. Sighing he walked back up until he almost reached the top before he was grabbed and placed on the smooth section of the tunnel for the bodies. "What the?!" Trying to scramble up he was held down and made to slide down. Eyes wide, he kept trying to struggle and put his feet down. "Please! I'm alive still." It still didn't stop the sliding as he continued down into deeper darkness.

Sounds ceased. Only a faint chirping of a cricket could be heard then after 10 minutes the frantic footfalls of a young teenager running up half stumbling and half making good timing as he reached the top to take a brief look down to see something in scrubs cackle at him and disappear. Spooked he ran into the hallway and fell to the ground.

Breathing heavily and moving some old paint chips away as he breathed hard, he heard a kindly voice ask. "My goodness. Are you alright, young man?" Thinking perhaps it might be the guard that abandoned its post, he looked up to find a male ghost in doctor attire in front of him with a stethoscope still around his neck.

"Uh yeah." Standing up quickly, he brushed himself off. "I'm perfectly fine, thanks for asking."

"That's good since I told them you aren't dead yet just really sick." Pulling out a needle he grabbed Dib hard and plunged the shot into his arm which only just went through harmlessly.

Screaming, Dib jerked away and ran towards the doors to the front lobby but was stopped by a few more doctors with more needles in their hands. Yelling out no, he ran the opposite way past many patients. With so many stories he has heard of this place, he never ever heard of them doing this to other investigators. He wondered why they were doing it. Ducking nurses now, he was looking back when he slammed into a wall and landed back onto the dingy floor. Cursing under his breath, he was greeted by an elderly patient who just studied him. Standing up, he tried to see if he can run past all those doctors and go to the lobby, but thought they were ghost so he had a chance regardless if they can sometimes touch you or not so he calculated his next move when he heard.

"It isn't nice to gawk at us son. How would you like it if we did that to you?" The elderly patient asked before disappearing.

Groaning out in protest, he started to run when he was tripped by rope which made him lose his breath. Glancing up he saw a nurse with a rope around her neck shaking her head as she went to ascend the stairs nearby.

Outside, Gaz watched all that was unfolding and she honestly couldn't believe it. Zim though was surprisingly not laughing. He normally would laugh seeing him tortured and scared like this, but stood there studying the scene. Gaz was about to ask a question to him when he said without much tone to his voice.

"He doesn't want me to gawk and torture anyone, but yet he is fine at glorifying their past suffering." Zim was sickened. He honestly said something when he went downstairs to those spirits. He didn't think they would listen to him, but they did when they grouped around him. When an understanding was met, he apologized to them for what has happened to them, and told them thank you for their help.

Gaz didn't say a word. She found that really good of him. Giving him one gentle rub on the back, she pulled her hand away as she kept watching the video.

Dib was in a runners beginners stance as he studied what laid out before him, but as he kept up this stance he slowly found himself standing up looking at the hurt expressions on each individuals face. Even Gaz, herself, made a comment upstairs to him that she would never do what he was doing right now. Yes, she was curious, but he did notice she was respectful to the ones they did come across.

So as he scanned everyone's face, his shoulders slumped and his voice took on a meaningful sincere voice. "I'm so sorry for what has happened to everyone of you. I wish it never did. You don't need people like me coming in here and acting insensitive. Please accept my apology."

Some nodded their heads. Some smiled. Some grumbled. Most just left without anything. Feeling sadness and regret seep into his system he made a mental note to trash the evidence he obtained here in a private location. If he did it here, some ass would come along and fix it up and claim it. So he placed his stuff away and walked out to the lobby.

Gaz was gonna say something, but Zim already left. Making her own mental note to thank him by giving him his favorite snack later, she waited for Dib to join her so they can go back to the hotel room.

As for Zim himself, he just had his cameras fly back to him so they can never be located by anyone, as he looked at his video screen though, since he forgot to close it, he saw the elderly patient who spoke to Dib say, "Don't know what illness you have to make you green but you are alright in my book." Smiling at the sentiment he destroyed his evidence as he leaned his head against the back of his seat in his Voot.

* * *

**Not all pranks will be funny. :)**


	5. Midnight fun

****In this story Dib is 16 and Gaz is 15.****

****I don't plan on keeping this the longest pranking story ever because seriously it can get a little tiring for me. I'm aware of Gaz's head being a little large. Heck I've seen that when the show was going on and it wasn't me who brought up the big headed thing, blame original writers there. As for pranks I do love when the object of the person that is getting all the pranks done to them eventually will turn the tables on the one who originally wanted to do the pranking. When I write my stories late at night the thing I struggle with is a title to the story itself and I thought of Project Big Head simply from way too many references in one of the episodes about the size of his head. ****

****Also these little pranks are tiny little side stories from my first Zim story. When it doesn't seem to fit somewhere, I will place it in another location. Hence it being here. ****

****If you don't wish to read there are other great stories lying around from other people. :) Sorry that I rambled on. ****

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Close to midnight. Dib entered a dilapidated mansion on the far edge of town. The once nailed down boards that were used for the windows and doors were mostly either down or just splintered to the point of showing its age. It wasn't Halloween. It was just a regular day, but to Dib, the paranormal never rested. They didn't celebrate holidays. He was sure they didn't eat. He knew they visited bathrooms since he witnessed a ghost scaring some girls in the skool's bathroom. Of course in High School, the ghost would visit the girls locker room to get their jollies on. They were dead, but not... Dead.

Making a face at that last thought, also thinking that he got in trouble for rushing into said locker room while there were plenty of half dressed girls, made him pause in rushing into those types of situations. Although, Zita did look pretty dang good in that little number she was wearing. Shaking his head, he turned his camera on for some serious investigating.

"Alright tonight I will capture a full body apparition." Making sure his EMF and EVP was properly attached to him, he slowly made his way around the mansion room to room.

Each time his EMF sounded off a little he concentrated a little bit more in one section. His EVP he will check at home for any voices he didn't hear at the time. Cautiously he roamed around. He wished Gaz decided to join him, but she decided to stay out in the car playing her Game Slave. Oh well, it was more action for him.

Hearing a sudden noise two rooms down, he walked quickly down to it, pointing his camera all the way. Getting to the room, there was nothing there, not even any electrical current from any ghost around. Not to be deterred, he kept going even when he heard a slight little voice from far off which he assumed maybe the dining room. Cautiously walking over there, he did find it was the dining room. Pointing the camera around he had a feeling his breathing was being recorded since it was loud now. Aiming it around the room he didn't notice anything out of the ordinary until he looked up at the dusty broken chandelier moving.

"I didn't see what was in here, I am hoping it is an entity and not a real life person, because right now hearing noises and seeing this chandelier moving is exciting right now, so it would be disappointing if it hobo." Noting that nothing else was wrong in there, he moved out of the room.

A half hour later with some more random noises and a possible shadow, his walkie chimed to life. "Hey genius. Are you getting bored yet in there?" Gaz impatiently asked.

Hearing his EMF go off higher and gaging it at 4.5, he pointed it all around, while trying to reply to her. "I got a 4.5 on my EMF gauge, Gaz!"

"So?" Came her clip reply.

"It means a possible ghost. There is no electricity running here for over 40 years now." Feeling it is upstairs now. "I gotta head upstairs now, so gotta go."

"Yeah, okay, whatever." She cut off their transmission.

So happy, he ran upstairs with camera in hand, pointed it all around along with his gauge, when it went off again at the same frequency, he walked off to that direction into a room. What he ran into made him almost scream.

It was large. Almost filled up the entire room. Could see right through it. It stunk. It was leaving ectoplasm on the ground in a pool. It wasn't human. Well if it was human at one time then they must of angered someone in their past because this was just gross. It looked like a huge giant zit with a set of eyes that looked like it was about to explode. Dib had to act like a professional, but it was so hard with all this disgusting stuff happening. Soaking up some courage, he filmed it. The EMF was going crazy, and his nose felt like it was going to run off of him, but he decided to ask it a question.

"Hi! I'm wondering if you could say a few words to me." The zit's eyes focused on him. "Were you always this, or were you human before?"

No words were said, just the zit's eyes completely focused on him. It was rather unnerving.

Clearing his throat, he tried again. "Do you think you are being punished or are you happy?"

The eyes squinted at him. More ectoplasm seeped out of it.

"Can you even talk?" He persisted.

What sounded like a gag and a cough, it pointed itself towards, Dib and started to explode, making Dib think quickly and run out with barely a girly scream from him. Although around the corner, Dib noticed a bit of his trench's sleeve was touched with puss. Almost throwing up he decided to move on.

Next half hour was him chasing down random sounds here and there in the house. Besides the huge giant zit and chandelier moving he was thinking they were wrong about this place really.

"Who dares enter my abode?" Came a female voice from behind him.

Turning to regard the voice, he saw a fully dressed woman in older type clothing staring him down. She was pissed. She also didn't have any legs.

"Oh man! This is unbelievable!" Dib exclaimed happily.

Floating closer to him, it's voice almost became shrill. "Who enters my abode without my permission?"

"My name is Dib Membrane and I am a paranormal investigator. Who are you?"

Peering into the camera in idle curiosity, she replied. "I am the lady of this manor who didn't invite you."

"You are Mrs Devonshire?" Dib was so happy that he made a mental note to ask out Zita tomorrow.

Grabbing his camera, she examined it more without a care in the world. "Yes I am and you are a trespasser with strange... Things."

Panic set in the second she did that. Scientific evidence will be ruined if she continues to do that. "Please ma'am, may I have my camera back?"

Angered at his arrogance, she grabbed him by his rather large head and started to shake him. "You have no right to demand anything."

Constant shaking jarring him, he had a hard time talking. "Not ah ah ah ah demanding ah ah ah ah ah anything. Need ah ah ah ah camera ah ah ouch! Back."

"No! You disturbed my son, he is at a very awkward stage." She mentioned.

"That zit ah ah ah is ah ah ah ah your son?"

Placing him face to face with her, she spoke softly and angrily. "Never talk that way about my son." Angered, she threw him into the hallway. "Get out of my house now! You ungrateful kids think you can do anything."

Skidding right into the banister, Dib rubbed his head then immediately focused his attention to the crazed demon lady coming at him. Trying to raise up before she got to him, he tried his best also to ease her ghostly nerves. "No ma'am I respect you."

Quickly grabbing him by the scruff of the neck, she put him once again face to face with her. "Lies! Be gone with you. Never darken my doorstep!" Tossing him down the stairs she started to cackle as he kept going _'Oh ah ow ow ah ow ow ah ah ohh ah ow ow ow ow ow, my face.' _

Once at the mid landing, Dib stared up as he stood up. Thinking of the camera and himself, he chose himself as he started full blast further downstairs and to the front door. When he opened the front door he landed face to fur with Bigfoot. Staring at one another for a few seconds, they both yelled.

"Leave me alone." Bigfoot begged.

Standing up quickly, he hated his dumb luck. "You're so lucky I don't have my camera." He pointed at him as he ran off.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Running directly into her, he almost let out a cry, but did the second it produced his camera with the lens broken off. "You broke it!"

"Serves you right." Quickly grabbing his head again, she made him fly far off again and started laughing hard.

"Mmmm ahhhhhh nahhhhhhh nannnnnnn blech. I am going home now."

Crawling away as fast as possible, he had to reach his sister, and get the hell out of here.

* * *

"Really! A big giant zit!" Gaz yelled out disgusted as she watched the video feed of the step by step actions her brother was doing.

"It's brilliant." Zim said as he relaxed in the drivers seat of Dib's car. Hands behind his head.

Watching the zit explode, Gaz almost hurled. "That is sick, Zim."

Tilting his head a bit sideways, but still remaining in his relaxed position, he considered what the just saw. "Yes, you might of been right. I was to realistic with all that other stuff."

"I am not eating cheese for a long time now, thank you very much."

"Well you should lay off on the pizza's anyhow." Zim remarked, but her look of wanting to kill him made him say. "You know I don't mean it in that way. You are young still. You are almost in high school, so it is fine, you know you will be petite for a long time."

"You are not a brilliant guy, you know that Zim?"

"I am brilliant, it is you that is blind to that."

Such arrogance again. Sighing she focused on the old lady. "Uh she is scary."

"That is a compliment from you." Zim said happily. Watching it toss, Dib into the hallway he bursted out in laughter making, Gaz look at him sideways and scrunch up closer to the door. "That's Gir by the way."

Laughing at Dib's terrified face, she turned to him. "That's Gir?" Zim nodded his head, and she focused on Dib running out of the house and into Bigfoot. "Oh my! It is his dream lover."

"What is a dream lover?"

"I'll explain later. HA!" Dib got his butt handed by Gir again. "Commend Gir on a job well done. Just don't kill my brother."

"I told him not to. Promised him lots of tacos if he did an excellent job if he didn't." Watching Dib run in this direction, he lifted the handle up. "He's coming and I don't have any other distractions for him." Stepping out of the car, he bent down to look at her. "This was fun. Want to try it again some other time?"

Smiling wider, she nodded her head. "Yep." Waving bye to him she went back to her Game Slave. Suddenly hearing panting and the car jolt from him putting his weight suddenly on it shaking the car.

Rushing around his car to get to the drivers seat, he placed the keys in the ignition and started driving the car. He was clearly frightened. "I just ... learned that... oldest sun should be my host.."

"You aren't making any sense." She grunted.

"Sorry Gaz. I was huddling for warmth with this alien dude. The queen is really just the woman who lived there a long time ago." He continued speaking gibberish.

_Whoa! He got spooked out in there_, Gaz thought to herself.

Driving all the way home he felt a little at peace when they pulled up to their house and parked in the driveway. Grabbing his EVP, he got his excitement back in him when he leaped out of his door, and went running for the front door to unlock it. "Oh man I hope I caught something on here at least."

Waving her hand in front of her nose as she followed him, she remarked. "I hope you at least take a shower."

"Yeah yeah sure, but first... This!" He held up the tiny recording device as if it was made out of gold and the most valuable treasure ever. Ignoring his sister's grunt he ran up to his room and quickly went through the recording.

Minutes by tedious minutes went by with nothing but a peep. Becoming a bit disheartened about this and losing his camera, he kept pouring through the whole thing until he caught something. "What was that?" Replaying it over and over again he suddenly growled. Tiny droplets of sweat that he accumulated during the investigation and after as he ran for his life, seemed to boil. Running his hands along his desk he instantly placed tiny grooves into the wood. Ever been so angry that you never really yelled? It was a calm menacing type of anger.

"Zim." The name was said as a low slow boiling curse.

* * *

**Zim, did you really think that your pranks would remain hidden for long? Never prank someone who knows your greatest weaknesses. Next chapter will be the last one.**

**Constructive criticism please. Thank you. :)**


	6. Experimenting Time

**Last chapter for this. I enjoyed the positive reviews. Thank you for them. :)**

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His pak unhooking from the attached cord, he rises himself up to a sitting position in a self satisfied way as he wipes some last spots of sleep away from him simply by rubbing the corner of his eyes. A smile spreading to his lips as he closes his eyes continuing his dream that he was having just moments ago, he started to scratch his back and his stomach simultaneously enjoying the feeling as much as his self satisfaction. With all his pranks to the Dib-Stink and other various things he wondered when he would snap. When he would... What is that smell? Gritting his zipper teeth, he honestly didn't wish to open his eyes at the horror that Gir will make him see soon. He remembered once when he opened his eyes he found nothing but bunny rabbits all over his room... Doing stuff. Doing unspeakable stuff that he didn't wish to witness himself.

"GIR!" He demanded harshly without opening his eyes to look at what might be there.

After several seconds of no response, he followed it up with a much less harsher voice, but something akin to that of a singsongy type voice. "Oh Gir." After several seconds more of no response, he started to grit his teeth, and clench his fists. "Gir!" Eyes opened up. Mouth falling open. Shock befalls him.

In front of him several humans in white coats writing down notes on a clip board point at him, speak to one another in hushed tones, turn back to observe him some more, jot down more notes, talk, and repeat.

Going slowly to one face after another without moving his head he makes a scared huffing sound as he jumps on top of his bed, which turns out to be a gurney, and stands with his feet wide apart and pointing and accusing finger at each one of them. "I am the almighty Invader Zim and I demand you let me go or I'll... Melt your brains." Glaring at them he noticed they just kept doing the same thing making him further irritated. Jumping off his bed he storms to the end of his clear cell hitting it. "I said I demand you to let me go." Seeing that he was talking to numbskulls he wandered casually back to his bed, lifted it up, and slammed it against the wall making one female and a couple males step back. Feeling his result was met, he stepped forward. "Let me go and I will grant you mercy."

An older male with gray hair placed his clip board to his side so he can address Zim. "Why have you come to our planet?"

"To observe and to spread freedom to this planet." Zim replied.

"You just said you wanted to melt our brains. That doesn't seem like freedom."

"Neither is being imprisoned against my will, now is it?" Zim countered.

The scientists started whispering amongst one another with that question and a female came forward. "Perhaps it isn't, but we heard most troubling information regarding you along with some proof."

Fake laugh. "Oh is this proof from the one called, Dib? He is a most troubled young boy. He's had it out for me since the beginning. He never allowed me a chance he just began to accuse me of such such horrible things."

"He says you have tried to manipulate his own sister. Is this true?"

Eyes wide he gnashed his teeth together. "Never would I do anything against his own sister. She is the only one I care about on this stinking rock. The only one who didn't treat me like he has." Walking over to right his bed he sat on it as he crossed his arms. "I'm not going to answer a single one of your questions any more."

"We have enough for now anyhow." All nodding to one another agreeing with that statement, they all walked out of their room and dimmed the lights in the surrounding area except for his cell.

Waiting a half hour to see if anyone else would come back and to also check the camera positions in the room, he immediately left his bed and looked around his cell to see any weaknesses on where he can escape. It wasn't a glass room and the room was built solidly. Eyeing the door he walked over to it and it was a simple looking sliding door so he checked where he can open it from the inside. Peering close into the groove of the door he received a hefty shock that not only hurt him once but the second time it came from his pak sending another jolt warning him.

"Yeah yeah the door is bad. I got it the first time." He murmured to his pak. Peeling himself off the ground he started to gnash his teeth again. He knew the Dib-stink was responsible for this, but how was he able to transfer him to effectively without him waking? It had to do with his pak. A possible defect. Pacing back and forth he had to devise a plan to get out of here. They are obviously going to observe him and possibly experiment on him. Shuddering there he had to wait to make his move.

Hearing a slight hissing sound along with that smell from earlier, he glanced up to notice red gas filling the room. Holding his breath he tried to think fast then thought to extend his legs out. Extending his spider legs out, he raised himself to reach the ceiling as he held his breath, and with one of the prongs he stuffed it in the hole. Feeling a slight vibration and then a chugging sound the gas abruptly ended. Smiling at that, he lowered himself back down, and tested out letting out a little of his breath before he let out a wild shriek as a hundred of these tubes extended out of the wall and began spraying. Unable to hold his breath any longer he took in a hefty amount of gas into his system and passed out.

_The dream was as nice as any other, but unlike the reality where they were both drinking, they were sober. She wasn't hiding her feelings for him anymore because of her brother, and he was just his amazing self. He knew why she couldn't resist him._

_They were at the park at her favorite look out point with his arms around her simply holding her as they spoke. He loved her little demon side, but there were times he loved how dulled out some philosophies. Gaz was one of those that knew she was smart, but tried not to care at the same time. She often was pretty steadfast in reeling him in when he went too overboard. She honestly never wanted her brother to be destroyed as often as she may of doomed him in the past._

_As they started to kiss it was so blissful. Felt so right. In moments like this he thought about them and was it true that he was really a defect? It must be since he was supposed to only be an invader and not some love crazed monkey fool. Oh but this kiss felt good to him so screw him trying to figure it out._

_"Zim?"_

_"Yes, my Gaz."_

_"Time to wake up."_

Eyes open wide quickly he found himself strapped heavily to a table with the same, well he assumed the same scientists, surrounding him with masks over their mouths and noses. Testing the bonds with him struggling he let out a loud shriek as he cursed at them in Irken. Noticing the gloves on them and then a table full of sharp looking instruments, he shrieked.

"This one is indeed very lively. He wants to be the one who does the final exam, but we are allowed to do what we wish for now." A woman spoke as she raised up a needle to poke him with.

"Get that filthy thing out of the fabulous Zim!" Zim demanded as he made to bite her.

The woman giggling, she nodded to the man beside her as he started to use a rubber tiny hammer to him on various areas making him twitch or kick a little. "Very responsive."

"I'll give you responsive. Just untie me, Earth germ." He hissed.

"We noticed that you experience R.E.M sleep just like we do. You must dream as well." The elderly man stated as he ran a tool along his skin making him jump a little. "I say this because you were saying things in your sleep."

Growling at him and the others, he stopped his growling to address the idiot in a bemused tone. "I don't know however you mean by that."

There was giggling again from the first female who addressed him along with the other female, before he replied. "You made some kissing sounds and spoke of..."

"LIES!" Zim cried out as he tried to kick at him before he said in a more subdued tone. "What you speak of is nothing but lies."

"He seems to have a case of bi-polar episodes. You notice how he will go to one emotion to the next in the matter of seconds." A male spoke behind him, he couldn't see what he looked like, in fact he can barely make out the tone of voice, but it did make his fellow co-workers nod in agreement.

"It is a pleasure to see you have finally arrived sir. Will you be conducting the experiment now?" The woman inquired as she placed the samples they took aside.

"Oh I won't be doing it right now. I want to know exactly what this little green fellow was dreaming about." The unknown male said.

"My dreams are private. Just like my body is private so I demand you give me back my stuff now or else." Zim said in a strangled tone as he tried to fix his stare at the unknown male who sounded a bit familiar now.

"Do you intend on taking over the Earth?" The woman wondered.

"Why not? It's delicious." Zim replied in a distracted tone before he realized what he said. "Wait, no! I love Earth. Earth is my friend. Yay Earth!" Weak little fist pump against the gurney he was attached to.

"No more probing innocent girls while you are here anyhow." The stranger spoke in a faraway voice.

Trying in vain, once again, to turn to look at this stupid male, he hurt his neck in the process. "I never probed any girl." Not for the lack of trying, he thought. "I know I'm here because of the Dib-stink and he keeps thinking I've done things to his sister, but she would be the only one spared."

Silence fell over everyone except the beeping of a few machines. The elderly man stepped forward so he can peer at him with one eye. "Second time with this girl. Girl is your weakness. Your defenses fall."

Between hissing and growling, Zim just roared. "I'M SICK OF THIS MORONIC NONSENSE! YOU EARTHLINGS ARE BEGGING TO BE ANNIHILATED!"

As if they didn't hear him have a fit, the stranger spoke again. "Show him."

Excitement flooded through the cronies as some of them brought up their clip boards again while the elderly one and another one walked away. Zim was hearing them whispering in excitement, and while a little part of him wondered what they were excited about, the other side of him was imagining them with their heads bursting open like melons. Hearing the sounds of squeaky wheels coming his way he looked to his left to see a very dismantled Gir in front of him. Zim always yelled at his little robot for being such a screw up and doing things that just didn't make sense, but before Gaz, he had to admit to himself, privately, that he liked his little defective robot. He did provide company. So he had three emotions. Total indifference, anger, and sadness. He chose.

"You took apart my Gir? He was harmless. He really loved Earth and all that it provided." He chose regret with a tinge of sadness before struggling against his bonds. "I bet you call me the monster when you are the ones who are monsters. If you ever talked to him you would know he was harmless."

"Not the reaction I was quite expecting." Right now he couldn't tell who said that since all he can do was stare at Gir.

"Are you going to present her mangled body next? I dare you." Zim hissed.

"No, but we will do this." The stranger announced as the room grew dark sans the light still shining upon Zim.

Zim looked this way and that while he struggled until he heard the sound above him. Looking up he shrieked as he saw a primitive blade spinning above him and coming down slowly. "It'll take a lot more then this to win against Zim!" He stated as he stared at the blade. Hating his bonds. Hating so much. Wishing to talk to Gaz one more time. Wishing to hear Gir wanting tacos. As the blade got closer and closer he turned his head to the other side and gritted his teeth.

"Do you enjoy playing jokes on your arch enemy, alien?" The stranger spoke.

Zim couldn't believe he wanted to know this, but he nodded his head as he heard the blade close to his body. The amazing Zim being brought down by something so ancient in his terms. At least it wasn't water or meat.

"Yes, well so do I." The voice spoke.

Hearing no more sound from the blade, he opened his eyes and found himself no longer strapped to the table. Sitting up quickly, Zim found himself in an empty style black room with grids inside the walls and floors. Hearing laughter he snapped his head to the direction of the sound to see Dib standing there laughing proudly with hands on his hips. Jumping onto the ground, Zim stalked over to him pointing his finger at him.

"How dare you play a trick on the all mighty Zim!"

"That is what you get for playing pranks on me." Dib spoke as he stood his ground. Seeing Zim cross his arms ready to refute him, he added quickly. "I have a recording that shows that you are the one who perpetrated that last prank against me. In fact, I'm sure you are responsible for the other crappy things happening to me as well."

Staring really at nothingness, Zim had his eyes closed when he said. "Alright I did play some pranks on you. Perhaps they are mean, but this was harsh."

Stepping forward, Dib jabbed his finger to his chest. "Sometimes that is needed for a swift reality check."

Groaning starts to turn into a feral growl before he turns his head back to him and raises his arms in defeat. "FINE! But what about Gir?"

"Never touched him. He is at your base still. All of this is a program so nothing was real." Dib replied.

"Thank you."

"Sure. I like that little robot. I wouldn't harm him." Dib assured him.

"Yes, well..." Zim trailed off before having to agree to something he didn't want to. He didn't tell him to never play a prank again. Not in so many words, but he will be the bigger being. "I won't play any pranks any more. I swear it."

"I hope not." Watching him walk away, he had to press his luck. "What about you invading the Earth? Will you stop that?"

Turning his head to face him, Zim replied. "For now, no."

Dib stood there as he left the room. He had one other thing to do.

At home, he came in to find Gaz reading a book. He wouldn't play a prank on her, but he would still like to talk to her even if she wanted to doom him. As he walked to the couch he sat down. "I just pranked Zim." No response from her. Really he couldn't tell since she knew how to hide her emotions. "I had to because I know he has been pranking me all along. I also heard your name being slipped for helping out." Hearing her close her book, he was afraid to see anger on her, but all he got was calm. "Why did you help out? Am I that bad?"

"Zim came to me when you first slipped into his house. Knocked at our door and said he had something to show me. I watched, amused, but I told him not to harm you. I always repeated that to him. I wish I could of said that I'm a innocent bystander, but I'm not for standing by and watching it. I'm just as guilty because when I agreed to it was when you are the most aggravating with me before you leave." Raising her hand up to stop him from speaking, she continued.

"You have this passion for wanting to find the truth and that is great for you. At times I hate it because you are the only family I do have. Mom is gone and dad might as well be gone since he is always working. It isn't fair that you had to become a surrogate dad to me along with being my brother. So this stuff takes you away from me. Yes, you drag me along, and I understand why, but I'm not you. There are times I have joined you because I wanted to be with my brother."

"Also that kid that looks like Big Foot and who really isn't. You are torturing the poor soul. Sorry I strayed from where I was, but it needed to be said. You chase him and when I see him he is crying and scared of being chased. You don't think that is torture?" Raises her hand and looks at him straight into his eyes. "Dib, be what you want to be since it makes you happy. When I talk to Zim it doesn't mean he is experimenting on me. We just talk. It makes me happy that someone wants to talk to me. You should be happy there. I love you and I apologize about those pranks."

"What about the sanatarium?" Dib wondered.

"Real ghosts. They were all unhappy to feel like circus side show freaks. Zim somehow rallied them to help because he even felt bad for them." Gaz replied. "Maybe next time if we go, we both can talk to them like they are humans and not a show. I would like that. Just you and I. No Zim. No cameras or other equipment."

Nodding his head and smiling at that idea. "I wouldn't of listened to you if you suggested to me the first time because I was so gung ho, but I would love that."

Smiling, she stood up. "Good. I do apologize for the pranks. If you need to prank me once I will let the doom slide, but only once. Also we never had this conversation."

Sitting on the couch he absorbed all that she said to him before he said back to her. "I love you too." He could of swore he heard a grumbled 'Yeah yeah' but didn't care. He got the side of his sister she rarely showed. He also saw a little tinge of a heart on Zim today. Perhaps it would grow more. Perhaps it would, oh wait!

Glancing around the living room for any sign of Gaz, he switched onto his private little camera he fixed on Gir. It showed Zim, walking through his door looking a bit disheveled and worn out before he heard. "Mastah!" From Gir who ran to him and tackled him onto the floor. "I missed you. Did you bring me tacos? I was told you were going to bring me lots of tacos."

Zim's irritated face was clearly marked before a few other emotions passed through him as he gently moved Gir aside. "I'm sorry, Gir, I forgot." Hearing a sad sound coming from Gir seemed to make Zim unhappy himself as he went to open the door back up. "Come on, Gir, let us get you some tacos."

Happy chittering was heard before a very loud, "TACOS!" Was heard as he went bounding happily down the pathway, with Zim obviously following behind warning him not to run so fast.

Smiling at that last little bit, Dib cut the feed, and went upstairs happily.


End file.
